Wasted Seconds Wasting your precious time since 2009.


Paris Hilton forgot something.

26709PCN_ParisRed You notice in this picture that her breasts are damned near shoved up against her chin? That’s the work of a very very magical bra folks. She’s always prided herself on the fact that she technically doesn’t even need to wear one, yet there are shots like this. Go figure. Maybe there’s something I’m missing, I don’t know. Personally I’m all for what nature gave you, and she’s no different. That and this was the only picture I could find that was “safe for work” to compare the rest to (which I happen to like better). Anyway, hit the jump, just be mindful of your surroundings even though they aren’t THAT bad. But seriously, who the hell puts on a t-shirt like that without knowing that it’s see through. I could see running around the house like that, but out in public? She can’t possibly be THAT clueless … either that or she just flat out doesn’t care because she’s hot enough to get away with it. There’s a hint for ya. Enjoy.


Xbox Live Indie Game Trial Impresion for : HomeSlice & the Zombie Bunnies

xboxboxart First off … what the hell? Seriously. Zombie bunnies? The premise ALONE is right up my alley. This is just absurd. I LOVE the sense of humor behind this game, but alas this is going to be a relatively short one from me. This is a dual stick shooter but with added melee attacks that are assigned to either the face buttons (which, in all honesty, who the hell would use those in a game like this) or the triggers. Everything is from an isometric perspective though, giving it a somewhat unique look as there aren’t a whole lot of other games on the service that use that. The only other one that I can think of off the top of my head is the awesome Cyborg Mice Arena. But the game reminds me a LOT of the iPhone game MiniGore … which isn’t a bad thing at all. It has a great graphical presentation to it. The music is catchy, and the sound effects are pretty good … even though all you really hear is what sounds like someone smacking piano keys every time you kill an enemy.

But it does have it’s failings. There isn’t a story of ANY KIND. Not even anything ridiculous as the title would suggest. You just go in and kill zombie bunnies. That’s literally it. There’s only one area you fight in … and it’s not even all that big. And with the retarded one hit kills, you don’t really have room enough to move around like you do in MiniGore … so I died. A lot. Now, in all honesty I’m not that great at dual stick shooters … but I can make my way through a big chunk of Zombie Apocalypse without having to wrestle the zombies off of me. And when you DO die … you don’t get any kind of animation of the bunnies just swarming you and eating you alive … you just die and start over again. That’s it. The complete lack of sound effects kind of hurts it in the sense you don’t hear much of anything besides the piano smacking I mentioned before and the music. I would like to know what a zombie bunny sounds like damn it!

I can’t say whether or not this game is worth buying (even though it’s only 80 points) … it doesn’t seem finished. It seems like it COULD evolve into a really fun game. But as it stands right now, it feels more like the starting off point to an ACTUAL game. I absolutely ADORE the cheesiness behind this game, but they just didn’t go far enough with it. But you should definitely at least give the game a try purely for the novelty. And there may very well be more to the full game, I don’t know seeing as how I’ve only played the trial. If you do buy this and like it (or dislike it) by all means leave a comment.

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An initial impression of “Breath of Death VII : The Beginning” for the Xbox 360

xboxboxart The reason I’m writing THIS instead of a full out review is because I’m kind of stuck in a part of the game and kind of need to start over again. Although that’s not a bad thing against the game, it’s more my inability to play RPGs … I have only played two RPGs to completion my entire life and those are the original Dragon Warrior for the NES and Super Mario RPG. Why have I only finished that many? Because I don’t typically like RPGs that much. They’re entirely too long and too repetitive. I don’t like all the little subtleties in them and I hate grinding with a passion.

Unfortunately, this game seems to require some grinding because the place I’m at in the game my entire party can just BARELY make it through the REGULAR battles in this particular dungeon … let along stand a snowball’s chance in hell against the boss of this area. So I have elected to grind the hell out of the overworld before I really start on any of the actual story points, which you don’t have to worry about my spoiling … because it DOES have a story that I’m not even going to get into here. From what I can tell so far, it’s not going to win any awards, but it has made me laugh a few times which is always a good thing because there aren’t many games that LITERALLY make me laugh storywise.


Miranda Kerr at Christie’s Green Auction : A Bid to Save the Earth

Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Auction Why did I post this? Because the people who know me in person know that I, for the most part, don’t really care about auctions in so far as saving the Earth and whatnot. I’m of the camp that … the Earth has been through a LOT worse than us.

I am posting this purely because of the obvious. I’ve never even SEEN a Victoria’s Secret catalog or whatever the hell it’s called. Quite honestly, I don’t really care one way or the other about it.

But Miranda Kerr has that “girl next door” kind of thing going that I really like. That is the reason I am posting this.

She kind of reminds me of a Hawaiian girl that used to live next door to me … except I don’t think Miranda got pregnant at 14 years old and made a career choice at Hardee’s. Anyway, enjoy.


Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Aucti Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Auction Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Auction Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Auction Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Auction Miranda Kerr At Christie's 'A Bid To Save The Earth' Green Auction bid to save the earth 230410 bid to save the earth 230410 bid to save the earth 230410


Bio Menace for DOS

1082018121-00 Yet another one of those old shareware games that I never got to play the full version of until recently. Bio Menace. Honestly, I don’t know a whole lot about this game other than the fact it (obviously. Something that I noticed even back in the day) uses the Commander Keen engine. But it’s also the first game I played at home with any sort of blood and guts in it. Bodies are strewn about the blasted landscape, when the aliens die they blow up into little meaty bits and eyeballs and the like. When you think about it, this is a rather violent and disturbing game. But you can learn a lot more than I could ever tell you about this on the Wikipedia page. But great graphics (for the time), great music by Bobby Prince, decent sidescrolling run and gun gameplay. While it’s not perfect, and is actually pretty hard it’s definitely worth trying. And the main character’s name is Snake and he has a mullet. You can’t get much cheesier than that. I’m going through it again now because I never got the chance to back in the day. Back then I don’t even remember passing the first level to be perfectly honest. :) As usual, all the screenshots are courtesy of MobyGames and you can find the full version download at the bottom.


Major Stryker for DOS

935239566-00 This is one of those games that I never played the full version of until recently. In all honesty I had almost completely forgotten about it. I snagged this off of a bulletin board back in 1993 and I remembered LOVING it. Now, granted, a lot of these old PC games don’t fare too well nowadays. But this is one of those games that definitely stands the test of time. Another thing that made this game special to me back in the day and really helped turn me on to PC gaming was the fact that I had a PC that could run this … and a Nintendo. I didn’t have a Sega Genesis or SNES, it was the PC and the Nintendo … and the Atari 2600. And it was games like this and the original Duke Nukem games that showed me that the Nintendo wasn’t all there was out there in my little world.

While there isn’t anything particularly SPECIAL about it, it’s a fully playable and damned impressive vertically scrolling shmup with sharp, detailed 16 color EGA graphics (with parallax scrolling. Trust me, it was a big deal back in the day.) and some GREAT music by Bobby Prince that I unfortunately never got to experience until today because the PC I had to play this game at the time didn’t have a sound card. Hell, the music alone is worth the download, and I wish I had it to stick on my iPod, it’s that good with a monstrous 20 song soundtrack (granted, a few of them are the typical short “You’re dead.” tunes that I tend to hear a lot) … and there are a grand total of 30 sound effects in the entire game. With one voice sample that says “Game over, man!”

Gameplay isn’t anything you haven’t played before, you move around and shoot straight up. There are powerups in the game that give you different types of shots (including the ability to shoot behind yourself). But even on the beginner level this is one hell of a hard game. At least it is to me. I’ve never had this many problems with a shmup, not even the bullet hell style games. :)

Great game with some even better music. And is well worth the price of free because it was released as such at one point. If you like shmups or good video game music, it’s definitely worth a try. It may look dated, but fun games are fun games. All screenshots courtesy of MobyGames. Hit the jump to see them and download the game.


The Chinese are funny.

specialman I recently got that 101-in-1 Plug and Play Games thing, and I’m going to assume it came from a Chinese manufacturer just from the shamelessness of the thing (it has the NES versions of Mario Bros. and Donkey Kong on it for heaven’s sake) and then I see these. Robert-Cop …. Spader-Man … Specialman, Silverbat, Change Robot and Star Knight.

Why they have Darth Vader riding a police motorcycle is beyond me, and Specialman? Seriously? This is just hilarious.

Now, games are one thing, even though I’ve only played the pirated stuff and not so much the actual knockoffs … unless you count that utterly TERRIBLE “Shredmaster Jr.” plug and play game that is just basically Guitar Hero done in MIDI with a shitty whammy bar.

But I refuse to go the toy route. That’s where I draw the line. Hell, I didn’t even really care that much about toys when I was a kid. I was too busy playing outside. More after the jump. Okay … “Robert-Cop” is tempting. :P Just mainly from the utterly RETARDED name.


It’s not very often when a cosplayer looks BETTER than the video game character she portrays.

kipi1-590x885 Okay, I’ll admit, I have a thing for Asian chicks. And this girl is no exception. Now, cosplayers … for the most part … annoy the hell out of me. Most of the time either their costumes are pathetic, or it’s some chubby girl from Mississippi trying to pull off Felicia or something.

This is one of the few times where a girl has ACTUALLY pulled it off, and manages to outdo the video game character (in this case, Kasumi from Dead or Alive) she’s portraying. The results are shown here (safe for work) and are absolutely stunning.

And I’m not even a big fan of the Dead or Alive SERIES in general. It’s never really done it for me, mediocre fighting with hyper unrealistic bouncing. Sorry, I’m not 10 anymore, I need a game that’s worth playing. Anyway, do yourself a favor and hit the jump.


Cammy is coming to Street Fighter 4 on your favorite iDevice via a free update.

I was a little skeptical of this game when it was initially released, mostly due to the fact you have no choice but to use the touch screen controls. And when not done right, it’s devastating. But Capcom definitely pulled through with this release providing a great version of SF4 for on the go. Obviously, with only 8 characters and a large loss of buttons (both literally and physically) its’ not going to make the hard core people happy. And trust me, I’ve seen my fair share of people bitching about this release. Some people even bitching … even though they haven’t even PLAYED it. Go figure there.

But I ended up dropping the money on it the day it came out, and I’m thoroughly impressed by it. It controls wonderfully with great graphics and sound … and while it’s definitely not a true Street Fighter experience, what are you expecting from a handheld.

Anyway, eventually, Capcom is going to be providing a free update to this adding in Cammy. While I’m not a huge Cammy fan, it’s definitely kind of surprising to see them even bothering to update this thing. Let alone making it free.

Now if only they would add some other little things to it that I won’t mention because of all the people who whine about spoilers. I’ll just say that this game basically works as a playable advertisement for Super Street Fighter 4 and leave it at that. Regardless of that, it’s well worth the money and if you haven’t checked it out you really should.

Maybe they’ll add in online multiplayer sometime. Now that would definitely rock. Then I could get my ass handed to me on my iPod Touch and the Playstation 3 at the same time.

Here’s a nifty little video showing Cammy in action courtesy of TouchArcade.


Tila Tequila is still around. And is still devoid of any redeeming qualities.

Tila Tequila 150410 Here she is in an utterly RIDICULOUS outfit that show WAY more than pretty much anyone wants to see (which makes some of the pictures not safe for work) performing her new single “I Fucked the DJ” at The Greenhouse in New York.

Now, I’ve only heard a handful of songs by her … and I’ve got to give her credit for one thing and one thing alone. At least SHE manages to get some kind of meaning out of it, as utterly pointless as that meaning is.

When I hear it, all I hear is bad rap, simplistic repetitive beats and music that seem to be written and finished in a few minutes just to get her to shut up for 5 seconds.

This chick really needs a wake up call and possibly some psychiatric help. Hit the jump for the rest of the pictures, just bear in mind what she’s wearing and your environment, because she really needs some extra special help dressing herself.