Wasted Seconds Wasting your precious time since 2009.


Perfect Dark … would you believe it came out May 22nd, 2000.


I didn't even know about any of this. I knew the game came out in 2000, but I didn't know it was this soon. And with all the rapture nonsense going on today, this historic game is unfortunately lost to a lot of people. So rather than lament about the game that I didn't play all that often back in the day (sorry console kids, I was too heavily invested in playing games on the PC and emulation at the time) I'll leave those memories up to you. And no, that awkward Xbox 360 outing doesn't count. The version of Joanna Dark ... while impressive ... doesn't match up to the original.

And another thing, apparently the model Michele Merkin portrayed her at one point. I would've voted for Milla Joovovich personally because this Michele woman doesn't quite cut it for me. But there's a few Maxim shots of her in here because she's still damned impressive. Hell, she even got a spot in the Retro Gaming Roundup show as one of the Top 10 Hottest Video Game Babes for this month.

For those of you who for whatever reason haven't played this excellent shooter, it can be found on the Xbox Live Arcade for a small price. And if you want it to look like the Nintendo 64 version is fairly easy. Just get out your old composite cables that came with your system, hook it up THAT way ... then spit on your screen and smear it around. Unfortunately, due to the fact that this game pushed the Nintendo 64 WELL beyond it's limits, there's not a whole lot you can do to cut the frame rate by 1/3.

And be sure to play it multiplayer as well, because that's where it really shines.

And if you're worried about the rapture, don't worry. It's not going to happen. Hit the jump for a smattering of pictures that I find interesting regarding this kick-ass female video game lead.


After Burner Climax hitting XBLA and PSN in April

AFTER BURNER CLIMAX Now, I haven’t played the arcade version of this. Yes, it was a full sit down arcade cabinet in 2006. But from what I’ve read about this, it’s basically the same old After Burner just with a new coat of paint. Fly through the air, dodge things and blow things up.

That being said, the 1987 arcade version of the game and the ports of it (yeah, even that Sega Genesis port of the game that wasn’t all that great) are some of my favorite games.

I’ll definitely be checking it out when it hits, and if it’s priced right I may just get it. Here’s hoping they release the original eventually though. Hell, I’d even buy the old arcade version on the Wii if they released it. Sure, it won’t have quite the same appeal as a full cabinet. There’s just something lost when you sit there with a controller rather than popping in your money and sitting down at this HUGE arcade cab. But I’ll take what I can get. The screenshots are from the arcade version, and are pretty damn awesome looking.

climax-1 climax-2a climax-5a climax-6a

via Destructoid


Gaming outside my realm.

If you've ever talked to me, you know I'm not a big fan of physics games ... which makes me reviewing job a little difficult at times because guess what a chunk of these indie games for the 360 are. :) But regardless of whether or not I like the idea behind a game, I still like to give them a fair shot.

But this isn't really about a review. I was on episode 17 of the Geek Gamer Radio podcast, and they have a little segment called "Games Outside Your Realm". The whole point behind it is to play a game throughout the week that you normally wouldn't play.

My "assignment" was Trials HD on the Xbox 360. Now, this is a bit weird for me because I have indeed played it, though not that long. The same thing with the PC version. Now, for the sake of an internet podcast I'm going to give the game a fair shake, almost like I was actually reviewing it.

I've HEARD a lot about the game from various other podcasts, who mostly agree that the game is fun as hell for a while, then it kinda burns out after a while. Now, I have a feeling that it won't get too burned out for me because I'm going to more than likely just be playing the trial due to the fact I'm completely assed broke at the moment.

But I'm sure a lot of you have played this game. I know that damn near everyone on my Xbox Live friends list has played it in some form or another. What should I expect from this? And what are the differences between the Xbox 360 version and the PC other than of course the HD graphics? I'm sure they play identically.

Yeah, I'm kinda cheating here asking people about it. But given the fact that I only get 700 to 1,000 hits a day on this little corner of the web with hardly ANY of you people commenting I don't think I'm going to get much here. ;)

But yeah, starting today I'm going to give the game a fair shake all week long. Whether or not I lose a controller in the process from what little I've played in the past of both the console version and the PC version has yet to be seen.

Hell, maybe I'll end up loving it. Who knows. God knows I play enough of these brutally punishing games.


Not a good day for retro gamers on Xbox Live

The following games have been removed from the Xbox Live Arcade service ...

  • Cyberball 2072
  • Defender
  • Gauntlet
  • Joust
  • Paperboy
  • Robotron 2084
  • Root Beer Tapper
  • Smash TV
  • Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3

Now I can't say that I'm all that heartbroken about UMK3 just because that game is utter crap ... MK2 all the way ... but the others. It's just heartbreaking.

Now, if you've already downloaded the games, and you're worried that if you get a new hard drive you can't get them again, no big deal. Just hit your guide button, go to the settings tab, account management and go to your download history you CAN get them again. And (though I haven't tried it personally) if you downloaded the trial you MAY be able to buy them again. Which means I STILL may be able to get Joust. :)

But still. Sad day for retro gamers.


Xbox Live Indie Game Review – You Will Die

xboxboxart This game is fucking cruel. It’s evil, and it’s quite possibly one of the hardest games in the Indie Games section. It doesn’t screw around. You have one weapon, one life, a shield that hacks away at your score (which is the ultimate point of the game) and no apologies. Most people I’ve seen who play this (including me. Hey, I never said I was good at these games) can’t get past about level 3 or 4. Out of, from what I understand, 32 total levels.

So it’s definitely appropriately titled. It doesn’t matter how good you are, you WILL eventually die.

That doesn’t mean it’s any good though, now does it. We’re going to have to make that determination as we go … well … more like I’ve already made my decision and you’ll just have to read on and see.


Pac-Man : Championship Edition for the iPhone/iPod Touch is on sale

Ah how I love this game on the 360. Despite the fact that I’m probably the WORST Pac-Man player on the face of the Earth. I don’t care. I still have fun with it, and now I can play it anywhere because it’s in my jacket pocket.

It came out recently on the iTunes Marketplace for $2.99 and initially comes with 5 championship maps and 20 mission maps. Which will probably be enough for me for quite a while. But there is DLC for $3.99 that adds 10 championship maps, 15 challenge maps and 100 mission maps that I do plan on eventually getting.

In any case, the game itself is on sale right now for $0.99 and if you have an iPhone or (like me) an iPod Touch you owe it to yourself to get this. From what little I’ve played so far it plays beautifully and matches the 360 version in every detail. Well worth the money, and still very much worth the $2.99 starting price. More after the jump.


Left 4 Dead 2 DLC – The Passing

I believe it’s set to come out Spring of 2010, and it will feature the original 4 survivors we all know and love along with the new ones. So that means … Rochelle AND Zoey in the same game. And that’s too much awesome to pass up. There isn’t any word on pricing yet, but if it’s anything like the last Left 4 Dead campaign that hit the consoles, it’ll probably cost 7 bucks. Again. And be free on the PC. Blame Microsoft for that one.

Granted, I didn’t care. I snagged Crash Course on the PC and happily shelled out my Microsoft Space Bucks for it on the 360 just because it’s great stuff.

But going back to “The Passing” it’ll be a whole new campaign bringing back the old survivors, as well as new arenas for Survival, Versus and Scavange modes. New firearms, new melee weapons. A new “uncommon” zombie (uncommon zombies … a good example is that damn clown). As well as a new co-operative challenge mode. And even if they charge for it on both platforms, I’ll still get it.

So this isn’t going to be a light one. And I can’t wait for it. Left 4 Dead 2 for the win. Down with Modern Warfare 2.

RochelleWeaponsRender Zoey___Left_4_Dead_by_loko3d

Like I said. Can’t wait.

via GayGamer


Finally got a problem solved.

My Xbox 360 has been flaking out. Hard core. And it's strange in the way it's decided to do it. Console functions that aren't game related work just fine. Twitter, Facebook, Live.fm, videos, Netflix, they all work just fine.

But when it comes to games ... it's another story. Some games just froze at random such as Zombie Apocalypse. Others I could predict when it would happen strangely enough like in Call of Duty 4 when I missed with the sniper rifle I could count on the system freezing up. Along with at random.

And sometimes it would outright REFUSE to run the Xbox Live Indie Games ... which is kind of a big deal since those are the majority of what I review. But the final draw came yesterday when Left 4 Dead 2 froze up RIGHT AS I WAS GETTING INTO THE HELICOPTER trying to save that goddamn gnome.

Enough was enough and I went out and got me an Xbox 360 Elite. I was going to get the Modern Warfare 2 edition of it with the 250GB hard drive ... but Infuckery Ward isn't getting my money for that game. So I settled upon the Elite and I'll eventually get the bigger hard drive off of eBay or something.

So now that I have a system that actually reliably WORKS I can get to my backlog of games I need to review. It'll be slow going because I'm the only person who writes for this site, but dammit I'm going to get them.

If people even care about what I think because I have a reputation for being pretty brutal in my reviews. :)

There's my little update.


This is exactly the reason I don’t play most games online.

Yes, I’ll admit that I cuss. A LOT. You know that if you’ve talked to me in person, but I also don’t get on there calling people faggots, niggers and “niggots” and whatnot when I kill them (or, more often than not when they kill me). Seriously people. It’s 2009 … almost 2010 and people STILL use those words? Xbox Live is the WORST place on the face of the Earth to play online because of this. I can’t even get into a game of Uno without hearing someone bitch about this, that and the other thing that other players are doing to them. That are part of the game. And who the hell thought of the corpse humping thing in Halo? Robin Williams apparently has this problem too, he’s just much more patient to the 10 to 13 year old crowd than I am.

Here's another one. Definitely not safe for work.


Bayonetta Demo Early Access

Last week Sega had open sign up for Sega Pass members to get early access to a demo for Bayonetta. It reminds me a lot of Devil May Cry, but with a lot less clothing. I got me redemption code for the Bayonetta First Climax (yes, that is what it is named) demo today.  It was harder than I expected but also much better looking as well.  I've got my first impressions posted here for anyone who did not get the demo today.